I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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