you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
