Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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