I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
