buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize