did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
