Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
