Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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