GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
