Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
