i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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