I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
