spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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