You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
