you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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