I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize