ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
