thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
