im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
