i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
