Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
