sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize