I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize