yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize