He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize