Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
