So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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