Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
