New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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