in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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