Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
A+ Viking dick
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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