I only kidnapped one of them. chill
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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