I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
