It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
