we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
