He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
