alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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