If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
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