Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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