just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
