I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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