You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
