He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize