I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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