I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Randomize
