It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
She even gives head with a lisp.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
