woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
