Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
