we're chasing vodka with high fives
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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