Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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