letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
