I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
