Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
