omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
