i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
