New invention idea: vibrating tampons
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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