well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
