We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
