Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
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