I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
