i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I checked into jail on foursquare
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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