What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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